Lockdown. Quarantine. Social distancing. Self-isolating. Call it what you want, it’s a good way to get an idea of how much social interaction you need to be happy. Hopefully, you’ve figured out how much you need and have found ways to get it.
I know I have. Truthfully, it wasn’t all that difficult for me because I’ve always been happy on my own. This situation just confirms it. Don’t get me wrong. I like people and I’ve always had a lot of very good friends, but I don’t need a lot of social interaction to be happy. I’m the guy who likes to run alone, practice yoga alone and play golf alone. I’m even comfortable going to restaurants, parties and movies alone. I enjoy doing these things with other people, too, except for running, but the diminished social interaction hasn’t affected me much.
Which made me think: “What’s the smallest number of people to whom I need to speak to be happy? Would I be happy if there was only one person with whom I could interact socially? Or would it have to be more?” It’s too hard to answer definitively because my isolation isn’t complete, but it was sort of fun to consider. I think my answer would be somewhere in the 3-5 range. Notice I’m not talking about who these people would be. They have a pretty good idea of who they are.
This little game led to a somewhat more serious line of thinking. There are twenty four hours in a day. I need to spend some of those hours sleeping, working and fulfilling other obligations. There’s a very finite amount of time each day during which I get to do what I want. I’m almost sixty years old. How many years do I have left? How many hours do I have left to do what I want? My time is clearly limited.
If I value family and friends above all else, which I do, how much of my limited time do I want to spend speaking to my family and best friends and how much of that time do I want to spend speaking to lesser friends and strangers? (I have a habit of starting conversations with strangers. People are interesting.) Shouldn’t I spend most of that time speaking to the 3-5 people who are most important in my life? Thinking about it in these terms really helps crystallize my priorities.
One more thing to consider. Say you only see your parents twice a year. And, this may sound morbid, but say your parents are seventy five years old and have a life expectancy of approximate eighty five years old. That means chances are you’ll only see them twenty more times. I don’t know about you, but putting numbers to things like this really hits me hard.
But it’s a good wakeup call to remember what’s important to me so I can determine the best way to spend my time. Going to call my mother now. See you soon.
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