The New Sixty

Have you ever asked a little kid to guess your age? How accurate were they? I’ll bet they weren’t even close. The last little kid I asked thought I was two years old. His second guess was one hundred. I don’t blame him. I was just like him. When my grade 1 class used to line up next to the grade 2 kids I thought they were much, much older than me because they were so much bigger. When we walked by a grade 4 class in the hall I was in absolute awe. Those kids were like giants from another planet.

I got better at guessing the ages of other kids as I got older. Grownups were another story. I couldn’t tell a twenty year old from a fifty year old. But there was one thing about which this kid was certain – no one could be older than sixty. It was the outer limit. The end.

My own age has never meant much to me. My fiftieth birthday felt the same as my forty-ninth. But I still like my birthday a lot. It’s a day for me to say thanks for this life I love.

I was talking to a friend about this shortly before my fifty ninth birthday. He was already sixty (living proof sixty isn’t the end). He said he felt the same as me – he enjoyed all his birthdays equally. Then he dropped the bomb: “ But Meltzer (that’s what he calls me), sixty is different. Psychologically. You’ll see. You’re going to feel different.” And just like that he triggered a memory that had been buried deep in the recesses of my mind since I was a little kid: sixty is the end.

His words rung in my head as my sixtieth birthday drew closer. I starting asking myself  “Are you worried about getting older? Do you feel any regret about how you’ve lived your life so far? What about a sense of urgency to cram as much living as possible into your remaining years?” The answer was always the same: “Nope. Nothing yet.”

I went to bed the night before my birthday thinking “Maybe it’s only when I actually turn sixty that I’ll feel different. Guess I’ll find out soon enough.”

I woke up early on my birthday, feeling happy and excited, the way I always do. Didn’t feel any different.

I got out of bed and went for a birthday run which is one of my traditions. I meditated then worked out. Still didn’t feel any different.

I checked my phone and saw that my mother, brothers and a few friends had already sent birthday wishes. I sent quick replies and said I would speak to them in person later. First I wanted to spend some time with the people I love the most in this world – my wife, my son and my daughter. They had taken the day off work and school and cleared their calendars so they could spend the entire day with me. That was the best gift possible. I recently heard someone say “Time=Love”. It’s so true. What better way to show someone you love them than to spend your precious time with them.  

We spent the entire day together. We went for a walk by the water. It was warm and the sun was shining. We had falafel for lunch and apple cake for dessert. We watched birthday video wishes from some friends and family. We sat close together and talked and laughed for most of the afternoon. We had Thai food for supper and carrot cake for dessert. In between I spoke to my family and friends. I felt so much love from so many people. It was the best birthday I’ve ever had.

I never felt any regret or urgency. I still don’t. I guess that’s what happens when you’re surrounded by people who love you.

I’m one lucky guy. Sixty is the new sixty. The beginning and not the end.

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