Of Friendship, Walking and Covid-19

I have a friend. His name is Dave. I never call him Dave, though. I call him by his last name, Aronoff. The way young boys tend to do. Because I’ve known him since we were young boys. And he calls me Meltzer, naturally.

We met even before our grade one teacher made Aronoff, the troublemaker, sit next to me, the teacher’s pet, in the hope that some of me would rub off on him.

It didn’t work. I know that because we went to school together from kindergarten until we graduated from McGill. That’s seventeen straight years. So I saw firsthand what he was like in school. The stories I could tell you!

Although the teacher’s plan failed to turn Aronoff into a well behaved student, it did turn the teacher’s pet and the troublemaker into best friends. I still don’t understand the basis for that relationship. For my part, I found him very entertaining. But I don’t know what a troublemaker like him saw in a teacher’s pet like me. I’ll have to ask him.

We spent a lot of time together during those years. Probably more than a lot of siblings. We studied together. We played sports together. We went to Habs’ games together. We went to parties together. We went to Florida and California together. And no matter what we did or where we went, we always laughed together.

I knew almost everything there was to know about him. I knew his parents and his sister. I even knew his sister’s boyfriend. Just recently I reminded him of an old girlfriend of his who he didn’t remember. And he knew almost everything there was to know about me and my family.

There’s a special feeling you get from a friend like this if you’re lucky enough to have one. The word that comes to mind is comfortable. I feel a sense of ease when I’m with Aronoff I don’t feel with most other people. I don’t have to think about what I say or do because he pretty much knows what I’m going to say or do all the time. I can ask him anything and know I’ll get a straight answer. And I know I’ll feel better after I speak to him because I know I’ll laugh.

We went our own ways for about twenty years after we finished school. I don’t remember why. I now regret that. It feels like we wasted twenty years of a special friendship.

When we picked things up again it was like we had never been apart. It doesn’t matter that we’re different now. Perhaps a little wiser. Definitely more grey. Nor does it matter if we see each other every week or every six months. The feeling is always the same. Pure comfort. And we still laugh all the time.

At some point during this Covid-19 pandemic we went for a walk in one of the many ravines in Toronto. We enjoyed it so much we decided to make it a regular weekly event. The walk has been happening for about six months now.

Aronoff is much more familiar with the ravines and parks in Toronto than I am. He also likes to plan these kinds of things more than I do. So every week he sends me a link to a meetup spot and tells me how long the walk should take us and what the terrain will be like so I know what shoes to wear. My job is simple. I show up at the meetup spot at the designated time and I walk.

He’ll often connect different ravine walks to each other and to parks or beaches to make them longer and to provide us with different views and terrains. He’s taken me through forests that made me lose my sense of direction – I didn’t know if I was in the east end or west end of the city. We’ve walked along beaches with the water lapping at our shoes. We’ve hopped from boulder to boulder to ford rivers, just like the little boys we once were and still are. We live in a very special city to have these opportunities at our front doors.

The fresh air, exercise and time in nature have all been great, but the best part of these walks has been the time I’ve spent with my friend. He does most of the talking and I do most of the listening, but he knows he’s the bigger talker and I know I prefer to listen.

We talk about anything and everything. We might talk about major life decisions we’ve made. Or tv shows we watched when we were kids. Or about financial planning for retirement. We might also reminisce about the countless fun things we’ve done together over the years. No matter what we talk about, it’s always with the greatest of ease and we always have at least a laugh or two.

I’m very lucky to have a friend like Aronoff. Being the teacher’s pet paid off. I know that when I look back on this pandemic, this will be one of the few aspects of it I’ll remember fondly.

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