You and Me, Little Bear. We’re Writers Now.

Posted byMichael MeltzerPosted inUncategorized

I’ve never been a writer. English was my least favourite subject in high school and it showed on my report cards. Nothing changed when I went to university. I avoided courses with papers and much preferred 100% final exams.

I’ve always enjoyed reading, though. Mostly for pleasure. The many required readings I had to do in undergrad and law school were aptly named. I wouldn’t have read them if I didn’t have to. They detracted from my pleasure reading.

Once I finished school I resumed reading for pleasure. This was shortly after I met my wife. She’s a big reader. The kind who can read a book a day on vacation. Her love of books must’ve been contagious. Either that or I wanted to impress her.

Now that I look back on this, I wonder why I liked reading but not writing. Maybe because I didn’t receive positive reinforcement for my writing. My English marks were usually my weakest. So I guess my writing was either under appreciated or not that good.

Despite not liking writing, being a lawyer involved doing a lot of it.  And despite still not liking it when I changed careers and became a Realtor, I decided to write a real estate newsletter to help people keep up to date with the market. Don’t ask me why. I could’ve hired a company to write my newsletters like so many other Realtors do, but I wanted my newsletter to be more personal.

My wife edited those early newsletters. She’s not only a big reader, she’s also an excellent writer. My writing style was pretty formal back then. I wrote like a lawyer. That style evolved over time and now I write like I’m talking. Which may be what caused me to change my view about writing. One day I woke up and decided I enjoy it. Probably because I feel like I’m having a conversation with you.

At times I’ve wondered “Should I be doing more of this if I like it so much? Maybe I should become a writer?” Whatever being a writer means. And without any thought whatsoever to how easy or difficult it would be to become a writer. Or whether it was even possible. I’ve always believed I can accomplish anything I want if I put my mind to it so why let reality stand in the way?

But what WOULD it mean to be a writer? That’s what I started to think of next. Would I have to choose between fiction and non-fiction? Would I write a book, magazine articles, a newspaper column or a blog? Would I need readers to be a writer? Then there was the big question. Would I have to earn a living from it to be considered a real writer?

I was stuck in a state of limbo as these questions swirled around my head.

Until two events happened.

First, I came to the realization that I don’t need to answer these questions if I want to be a writer. I can be a writer in the same way I’m a runner. I don’t run races or keep track of my times or distances. I run because I love running. So I’m a runner.

And now I’m a writer because I’m someone who enjoys writing. Simple as that.

But the second event was the real catalyst. It changed my life forever.

The real reason I’ve decided to become a writer is because of our son, Cole. Cole died in November. He was only twenty-six years old and he was my special boy. I love him so so much. I wish I could describe how close we were, but I don’t have the words and that’s not because I’m not a real writer.

Cole was a philosophy major. He had a brilliant mind. Cole said he wanted to write things that would help people. He accomplished a lot in his short life and did manage to help everyone with whom he came into contact – he just had that kind of way about him – but he didn’t get to become the writer he wanted to become.

Cole followed his heart and lived life to the fullest. That’s what we taught him to do. So I’m going to follow my heart and become that writer. It’s time. And as I sit here typing away with tears streaming down my face and a knot the size of a cantaloupe in my belly, I know it’s the right decision. It’s what I want and it’s what Cole wants. It brings us closer and gives us the opportunity to carry on his legacy together. Thank you, Cole.  

What will I write about? About what I’m thinking, like usual. Right now, that means I’ll write about Cole and the grief I’m experiencing. 

What’s my goal? There’s no goal. I’m writing mostly because I enjoy it and partly because I want to share Cole with the world. He had so much good in him. If my writing makes you feel something or teaches you something or if it helps you in any way, that’ll make Cole and I happy.  

One of the lessons that’s been reinforced to me during my grieving is that life is about connections. Maybe this will inspire you to reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while or do something nice for someone. We’d like that. Making peoples’ lives better was what Cole was all about. Or maybe you’ll feel like leaving a comment or sending me a message. That would be nice, too.

So here we go, Coley-Boy. We’re writers now. Doing something together. Like usual. You and me, Little Bear. Love you.

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28 thoughts on “You and Me, Little Bear. We’re Writers Now.”

  1. Michael Cole and all of us are proud of you Write with your passion and heart Love you ❤️💙🙏

    Most of my business comes from referrals so I hope you’ll indulge me as I self promote a little bit. If you know anyone who can use my real estate help, the kind that involves honest answers, no pressure advice based on 38 years of experience & being cared for like family , please put us in touch, I’d like to help. Chaim Talpalar Sales Representative Harvey Kalles Real Estate Ltd. Cell: (416) 804-0991 Off: (416) 441-2888 Ext.266 Toll Free 1-888-452-5537 Ext.266 http://www.talpalar.com

    CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This e-mail, including any attachments, is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure or distribution is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by reply e-mail and destroy all copies of the original message

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  7. I never met Cole but when I saw his message to you for your birthday on facebook, I felt that I knew him and you for years. I regret not knowing Cole and really believe that it was my loss. My heart aches for you and I envy you for the time you did have.DennisSent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

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  8. Michael, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not you have a natural way with words. Sign me up for a copy of whatever you write.

    There is no better inspiration than wanting to share your love and cherished memories of your beloved Coley. May his memory always be a blessing to you and your family.

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  9. Oh Michael. I am weeping as I finish reading this. Your love leaps off the page (screen). I think of you and your family often. I hope that writing for and about Cole helps you process this most unimaginable grief.

    If there is ever anything I could possibly do for you, please do not hesitate to ask.

    Take care, Aileen

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  10. Hi Michael – I enjoyed this very much. And what a beautiful picture of you and Cole. I have always thought you write very well. So I am very happy for you that you have embarked on this new adventure. I think you have a great talent for writing. I wish you all the best!

    Carole

    Sent from my iPhone

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  11. Hi Michael, I think you sold our house way back in 2014, so you probably don’t remember me. I have read everything you’ve posted since your son’s death. My heart goes out to you. I’m so glad you’ve found something in writing that you feel is therapeutic for you. I know one never gets over the loss of a loved one, especially a child; over time, one just gets through it. I hope your new-found love of writing helps you through your loss.
    All the best, Liz Martin-Landau

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  12. Oh, you bet I’m following you. I have found Writing Alone (and with Others), by Pat Schneider, to be a wonderful companion to the writer’s life, reminding me time and time again that I am a writer. Let those tears stream and let that knot sit, and tie, and untie, and tie again. You are loved and you are all held by the community around you. Thank you for being willing to share with us.

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  13. Michael. You have a beautiful gift with words and expressing yourself so simply and eloquently
    My thoughts and prayers are with you

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  14. Keep writing, Michael; you have lots of readers. But even if you didn’t, you’re still a writer. Thank you for sharing Cole and yourself with us. XO

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